Loosing Momentum

Xavier Sotomayor

    As the dreams from last night fade, I can feel in my heart that the honeymoon is over!  The optimism is leaving and my intention to trust is being tested. I am feeling impatient.  I am loosing momentum. It’s been four days since I pledged discipleship. All day…

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I Believe in Karma

Silhuette of a person in tree pose, lotus in forground, and water with radiant sky in background.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. -Wayne Dyer



I was in the car the other day, thinking about my recent “crisis.”  Being on what I hope is the other side of it, I had the space to reflect on the possible lessons I should learn.  Why did this happen to me?  I thought, “This is karma, I did something that created this reality!”

Yeah, ok Ego!

Then I wondered, is it karma?  Is karma always personal?  Or can karma also be a construct of a collective whole?  The one thing I remember from high school about Carl Jung is that he spoke of the ego and the collective unconscious.  At the time this was a pretty hard concept for me to understand,

Doodle of groups of people with thought bubbles over their heads all connected into one giant thought bubble.

I remember imagining a giant cloud of thought in the darkness above our heads to which we were connected by an umbilical cord-like thread through which ideas were passed back and forth.

perhaps because being a teenager at the time I was pretty entrenched in ego.  Obviously I still am.  The thought that I alone could be the single cause of strange events in my life is a bit preposterous.  Perhaps the truth is a bit more muddy and interconnected.  Like a giant web or network.  When I think of it this way, it’s hard to tell where I end and the rest begins.  Is there truly a clear separation?

How do we opt out of the group experience?

Even as we mistreat others, is that really us?  Or are we just uncontrollably playing out the roles necessary in order for others to burn up their own negative karma?  If so, how does that reflect upon us?  One could argue that mistreating others is a selfless service being rendered onto others and should therefore be considered neutral karma.

Perhaps in most cases it is a combination of both- personal karma being played out under the construct of collective karma.  In its simplest form it could be two people, with opposite karma’s needing to get burned up, come together and decide to play out a scene.  But while playing that scene the two people, who are always connected to the collective unconscious, pull on ideas or experiences that the whole is experiencing, in order to inform their personal choices.  If that makes any sense.  I’m starting to confuse myself!

What I am saying is, in part, I think my situation was informed by racism.  It’s no coincidence that in the months leading up to Trumps election and certainly after his inauguration there was an uptick of racist acts, groups and whatnot.  But all that energy doesn’t just disappear on it’s own. It goes out into the world and plays out on the personal stages of people everywhere and grows stronger!  Maybe, I mean, I don’t know.  But it seems to me that part of what I experienced was not my own.  Not simply because I was genuinely surprised from the bottom of my toes because of how far it went, but also because in my life I’ve had very few experiences in racism where I couldn’t write it off in some way.

Well, I suppose that’s not true, the racism I’ve experienced, however, has been more benign, (i.e. “Not YOU!  YOU’RE different!”) and so easily overlooked by both sides.

My hypothesis is this: In any given situation, especially the most challenging ones, the best choice you could always make is to stay rooted in your heart with your focus up to that third eye.